Miss Marples Guide to Gawping Posted on Friday 15th of April 2016
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I've yet to speak to a model or a photographer, who has not ever cringed at gawping activity related to model photography. Whether it be gawping in their general direction, or a hang your head in shame out of embarrassment for the third party.. We all know of at least one red faced moment.
The question therefore has to be, how not to be a gawper? Am I gawping right now? If you're having to ask yourself whether you are indeed a gawper or not, read on my fellow members..
So this is Miss Marple's jaded guide to the world of gawpers...
1. The ego big enough to fill a room member.
Dick pics. Or any other fancy worded gynaecologist close-up selfie. Photographers, and models, they don't earn you any brownie points. No one in their right mind is going to compare your skill of your camera to the size of your wotsit. In the same way, don't bother attempting to ask for those images, because they're not needed.
This is what really happens when you attempt to send a dick pic or similar - Other person opens file. The following options then occur - Receiver of image spits out coffee all over nearby surroundings. They then proceed to spend the next hour rolling around the floor laughing at your assets or your presumption that they wanted to see them. During the course of laughing the image will of course, be reported to admin, you might get blocked as well, so kiss that shoot offer goodbye. Hey, if you're lucky, they might even share the image will others, so the process of coughing spitting and laughing can start all over again.
2. The 'I'm secretly lonely' member.
Ahem, there is never a reason to put your relationship status into messages offering work. These sites are for shoots, not for dating. Please assume that unless otherwise notified by pigs flying in the sky that your chosen model / photographer is taken, and is unlikely to succumb to your wooing at any stage. There's counsellors for those issues, and whilst I'm sure there are models out there willing to charge extra to be your listening ear too, it just ain't going to happen.
3. The obsessive liker.
You do not need to like every image your potential next model or photographer uploads. You do not need to comment on every image they upload. This member is easily spotted when even if the upload is pants in technical and artistic ability, the obsessive liker will still like it and praise it to the heavens.
4. The prolific writer.
Your obsession with the other member has now lead to mills & boon style essays, stopping short of day time erotica describing the other member in image descriptions, forum posts and comments. Please, believe, that there are others out there cringing at your verbose writing efforts. There are others also with their heads tilted just to the side, trying to figure out where the halo for your chosen obsession has fallen to. The rule of thumb here should be - if your poetic attempts are not matched by the other member, then it's probably already got creepy.
5. The butter wouldn't melt member.
Your enthusiasm for your chosen member has now reached the stage of never wanting to disagree with anything they post. You scamper forwards not only to like all their images, and comments, but all their forum posts too. Even if this member said the sky was pink, you would still kiss the ground they walk on...
Excuse me whilst I get a sick bucket... Every model and photographer is still human. We all do human things like go to the toilet, and generally prance around only with halos on when in fancy dress. It's ok to debate with another member, even if they are a great model / photographer. It's also ok to not kiss ass once in a while too...
So there you have it, my quick run down guide to the creepy behaviours of gawping in the modelling world. These behaviours can be observed from both models and photographers from time to time. Just like any other form of primal behaviour, there is help available out there, when everyone stops laughing of course...